I'm seriously going to burst into tears at any moment. I'm talking to my best friend/boyfriend, we're in a long distance relationship. I miss him so much it makes me want to cry. We've shared so much together and the fact that he's not here with me hurts. It sucks he is about 8 hours away. We have our songs and inside jokes. Its depressing that we can't always share them in person. He means the world to me. This is why I would do anything to live down south again. I miss my other friends and family. I'd do anything to be with them. Everyday I hide the pain. Nobody truly knows how much my friends and family from the south mean to me...

&& just about 20 minutes ago I was laughing, giggling, talking to myself, smiling. Then when I realized that my boyfriend isn't with me all the time just puts a hole right in my heart. And I was listening to our songs and it just put me in such a depressed mood. I feel like days are gonna drag knowing he's living by me. I feel like life won't get better now that my mood swings are going up and down. I don't know what to think. I'm just need a good cry.

11:45pm

Do you retain water during your period? Okay TMI but I am getting my period tonight or tomorrow. I was walking today and my parents said my ankles look swollen. They said it could be from retaining water cause apparently mensuration does that to you..No clue but I'm just worried that something is wrong and my swelling doesn't go away. WHY ME.

Things That Make Me Happy

Florida
Elton John
Family
Friends
Horror movies
Money
Food
Cats
Bunnies
Texting
Shopping
Patrick Star
Hedgehogs
Watching TV
Photography
Peeps
Makeup
Spiderman
Being down south
Palm Trees
Quotes
Christmas
Summer
The beach
Owls
Diet Coke
Music

Anxiety

So 10 minutes after I wake up today, I get hit with an anxiety attack. It was so random like I can't even explain it. The feeling I got was scary. I felt as if I was an air head. Clouds in my head. Felt like I was in a dream. I got so scared I worked myself up and had one. The after feeling was horrible. I'm so glad I made it through the day without worrying much. I'm very happy this day is over. Tonight before I go to sleep I'm going to pray to God, watch Spongebob.. :) play on my phone and try to have a good sleep. Tomorrow I'm going to wake up at 10:30, even if I have nothing to do, I want to be awake and ready for the day instead of sleeping in late.

July 15, 2013

Okay so when I was in Florida back in April I told my Aunt and Grandma that I will be back in August to help them and keep the company. Well stupid me needs to have transportation and some money. I don't know what I'm gonna do.
#brokegirlprobs
And like I really don't feel like spending my last month of summer in Jersey. I miss my friends and family and I just wanna be with them for a month. When I was in Florida I had no worries. I felt great. Like so much better than I do here. I even woke up at 8am everyday. It was like I was in a dream for a week. I can't even explain how wonderful it felt. I just really hope to go back..next month. That's all I'm asking for right now.

July 14, 2013

OUCH. Holy hell. I freaking fell down, missed a step, twisted my ankle and landed on it. It feels a little stiff when I try to move it. Thanks to my stupid sister for leaving her tent there. #moron

Okay so my friend from Florida commented on my status! Yes that makes me happy. I haven't talked to him in like..2 years now and he's like "I forgot your number" So I gave him my number again. I miss our conversations. A lot. So.............I hope he talks to me sometime. So yeah that is all.